


asleep until tomarrow

by ehhhchimatsu



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Narcoleptic Sans, Other, and the rating may change, bc that should be a thing, more tags will be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-04-27 01:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5028943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ehhhchimatsu/pseuds/ehhhchimatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're running late for work when you stop by a skeleton's stand for a breakfast hotdog. What ensues is worth more than the dollar you paid for the hotdog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i walk a bonely road

Many months ago, you had established a routine that you followed five out of seven days a week.

You'd wake up, get ready, go to your job, and when it came time, you'd retrace the same path through the city home. You had lived in the city for a little over two years, and so you knew the streets that were better to take - the ones with less people, that were typically barren in the early morning and late afternoon.

Not that there were many people in your small city - you exaggerated when you thought that, it was more like a small- to medium-sized town. But you liked to keep to yourself most of the time, seeing as you weren't that sociable. 

It was different now, though. Not the unsociable part, but... pretty much everything else.

The monsters that had lived undergroud - that had been forced to spend their lifetimes there - had been freed from that bind. And your little town was a popular place for them, seeing as the area happened to be almost right on top of their home.

You didn't mind them - you could even say that you liked them. It added a diversity to the population, and although you hadn't become friends with any yet, the ones you'd casually chatted with were always amiable enough. 

Not to mention that you'd always thought the whole "monster-human war" had been a little unnecessary.

With the monsters' return to the surface, though, your routine that you had followed months ago had changed, as well. 

Every day now, as you walked to work on the empty back streets, you'd walk past a hotdog stand. It was odd that it was on a street where practically no one but you would walk, but you figured maybe it picked up business more while you were at work. It was small, and compact. Just like the owner of the stand.

You figured the short skeleton was the owner, at least. He was there every time you went to work, and every time you were on your way home. He never said anything to you, and when you would walk past his stand he was always either smiling at you as you walked by or sleeping, his head on the stand's counter.

And it was no different this morning when you ran down the street - running, because earlier that morning when it was time to get up, you'd turned your alarm off and went back to sleep, waking up very late. Too close to cut it.

As you quickly made your way down the street, you saw him come into view, just like every morning, behind his little operation. The smell of the freshly-cooked dogs wafted into your nose, the wind blowing towards you, and your stomach groaned. 

Right. You hadn't had breakfast. 

You slowed to a stop when you were near the stand, bringing your phone out of your pocket and checking the time. You could spare a minute to buy some food. Just one. And although you weren't a huge fan of hotdogs, it'd have to make due.

As you approached the stand, already fishing money out of your other pocket, he stared at you for a moment before speaking.

"Finally buying a 'dog, huh?" He commented, and you were none too surprised to find that he had a deep, slow voice. It suited him.

"Yeah, I'm running late for work - no time for breakfast - just ketchup, please?" Your words came out as a flurry compared to his, your rush causing you to talk much faster than you normally would. 

Surprisingly, he was timely in getting the order together, though as you got some money out finally, you could hear him stifle a yawn behind his boney hand, the hotdog extended to you with the other. "Hm. A dollar for the dogger, bud."

You slapped a dollar on the counter, and was about to take the offered hot dog when it slipped from his grasp, and you watched it as it bounced off the counter and onto the ground. You were about to comment when not a second later, a hard "thunk" was heard, and looking up, you saw that his head had slammed onto the counter, along with his extended arm, and his body slumped against it awkwardly.

"Oh man," You said simply, staring wide in awe. Ignoring the fact that you were going to be late for work, you leaned down a tad, getting eye-level with his head. "Hey, uh, are you alright?"

There was no reply, but you could see the steady rise and fall of his shoulders and back, covered by that thick coat, so you figured that at least he hadn't suddenly died.

You stood up and looked around, and suddenly regretted the fact that you traveled such a deserted street as there was no one on it to assist.

You bit your lip nervously, looking back down at the slumped skeleton. You didn't know what to do or what was wrong with him - he looked to be peacefully sleeping, but he'd hit his skull hard on the counter, it sounded like. 

You'd seen him too often to just leave him left alone in this state (whatever that was).

You looked around once more, just to confirm that you were the only one around, before finally making a final decision. You pulled out your phone, going into your contacts and calling the right number.

"Uh, hey. I don't think I'll be coming into work today." You looked down at the snoozing monster who may or may not have inflicted a concussion onto himself. "Family emergency. ... Thanks. See you tomorrow."

You put your phone back into your pocket, sighing lamely.

Your house wasn't far from here, you figured. No more than a five-minute walk. You could carry him there, get him some frozen peas - did they even feel pain? Or get injuries? - and maybe get that hotdog on a raincheck.

... Hell, you didn't even want the hotdog anymore. "Good Samaritan" was a special-enough reward, you thought as you walked around to the back of the stall. The skeleton was sitting on a stool, and you vaguely remembered an anatomy class you'd taken in college - bones made up around 15% of a person's total mass. Considering that he was not a person and had no fat or organs, he couldn't be all that heavy to carry. Forty pounds at the most. You could do that. 

Your thoughts were confirmed as you carefully lifted him into your arms bridal-style. Thirty pounds, roughly.

As you abandon the stand and make your way back home with the hotdog-selling skeleton sleeping soundly in your arms, you can only pray that he doesn't wake up before you arrive home, sparing you an akward moment. 

You really weren't up for that. Today had been stressful enough, as is.

As the chilly fall air whipped around you and the bundle of skeleton in your arms, you felt determination surge up in your body.


	2. he came from sierra lebone

Minutes later after the inital incident, you arrived to the steps leading up to your house. You paused, realizing you had to get your house keys out, and somehow managed to cradle the skeleton in one arm as you hastily searched for your keys - finding them in your back pocket. 

Opening the door and entering your shabby little home - alright, now you were exaggerating again, as the place was actually slightly too large for you, just poorly furnished -, you closed the door behind you, peeking down to make sure that the jostling hadn't woken him up. Luckily, it hadn't. 

You honestly didn't know how he was going to react when he woke up, and - oh god, you didn't think this through. At all. What if he freaked out. What if he got mad at you. What if he turned... violent?

You quickly set him down on your second-hand couch, just a few steps from the door. It was really the only furniture piece you had in the living room, but it was large and in good shape.

On a second thought, you lifted his skull to gently plop a pillow down underneath it. If he woke up comfortable, whenever that would be, maybe he'd be in a good mood.

You paused your thinking for a moment and let out a shaky breath, realizing how silly you were being. Whenever you had seen him, he had been the definition of laid back and relaxed. He couldn't possibly be violent towards you, a person who had been a good, caring Samaritan.

Right?

On that note you went a room over to the kitchen, firstly setting down your keys. You needed a bag of frozen peas, for his head. You hadn't closely inspected the area yet, but from the sound it made hitting the counter, it couldn't have felt good. It wouldn't have felt good, either, when he woke up, you expected.

Opening up the freezer, you found what you were looking for, far in the back. Saved just for emergencies.

You grabbed them, closing the freezer door and wrapping the bag in some napkins, since it had some ice chunks onto it that would quickly melt. Satisfied with the arrangement, you headed back to the living room.

And were greeted with a skeleton that was slowly waking up, stretching his arms far above his head, his eyes closed, yawning.

"Man, Papyrus, that was some good slee-" He stopped talking immediately as he opened his eyes groggily, the pinpricks of light in his sockets meeting your own eyes. They quickly snapped open into a wide gaze as he realized that he was in a stranger's home.

You could practically hear your heart hammering in your chest as a clock on the wall ticked away the seconds spent in silence. You smiled sheepishly, and you could feel your face becoming red from embarrassment, the frozen peas uselessly dangling from your hand.

"I..." He recovered from his shock, you could see, his eyes drooping to a lazy gaze, that easy smile on his face once more. "I must've really been _bone-tired_ , huh?"

You... He.... You stared, trying to think of something to say, but you could only swallow nervously, your words lodged in your throat, a slight frown quickly replacing the sheepish grin.

"Hey now, pal," he continued, noticing the change in expression. "It's _mandabletory_ to laugh at all my jokes, ya know."

More silence, your jaw just kind of hanging open now.

"Maybe I'm not as _humerus_ as I thou-"

"You're not mad." You interrupted, cutting off his (terribly brilliant) lame pun. You had meant for it to come out as a question but it came out more like a soft-spoken statement. 

"'Course I ain't, bud. I'm not surprised that you couldn't keep your human fingers off me. You didn't have to knock me out just to get me on your couch, though. I used to live in a town that snowed twenty-four seven. I'm pretty _chill_."

Letting his words sink in, you closed your mouth, and then spluttered, realising what he said and turning panicked. "I'm - what? - knock you out - I - I didn't! Y-y-you were, you passed out or something, I swear! Your skull hit the stand's counter, and, and - no one else was around..." You trailed off, refusing to look at him, instead shifting your gaze to the side.

You jumped when you heard him suddenly break out into a loud fit laughter. You stared at him, confused.

Nothing made sense to you at that moment.

"Kid -" He tried between laughter. "Kid - don't jump outta your skin like I did. I'm just _ribbin'_ ya." More laughter, as he wiped a tear - a tear? - from his eye socket. "Kid, I - I have-".

His head flopped forward and he went dead silent.

Your eyes went wide once more. Panic mode again. Oh god. Oh no. Oh no. What happened. You - you needed to call a hospital. But were there any monster hospitals, even? Oh no. What if he -

His head righted itself, and he breathed heavily, trying to calm his laughter before it started up again.

"Kid, I have narcolepsy." You were stunned into silence. Was he smirking?

That was definitely a smirk.

The small bastard was smirking at you.

You felt so embarrassed. You didn't even realize that. That human disorders could affect monsters. You didn't think about it ever. You didn't need to ever before. 

You... You slapped your forehead, groaning. "I was worried over nothing," you grumbled, the realization of it all hitting you full-force.

He got himself off of the couch, standing and stretching, still trying to wake up fully it looked like. "Yeah, you really were. Those peas for me?"

You removed your hand from your face, looking down at your other - you'd almost forgotten you were holding them. Your hand was partially numb from the coldness the bag gave off. "Yeah," you mumbled, more to yourself than him, "your head..."

He stretched his arm forward, palm opened up, and you glanced at his phalanges, momentarily mesmerized by the skeletal digits.

"May I have those, _peas_ and thank you?" he asked, grin widening.

You were immediately broken out of your reverie and rolled your eyes. "Only if you stop making those lame puns." You handed him the peas, anyway. And then added on, "I don't mean to be _sternum_ with you, er - what's your name?"

He chuckled lightly, closing his eyes and sighing contently as he lifted the peas to a spot at the top of his skull. "Hey, you hungry, still?"

You blinked, thrown off by the fact that he didn't answer you. "Uh, well, yeah. I guess I'm hungry still."

He snapped his lids open, the two slits of light in his eye sockets staring at you with an intensity that made you almost nervous. "I'm Sans. Nice to meet you, "Hungry Still"."

You're pretty sure that your neighbors heard your groan. And if they didn't, it was because his sudden laughing was drowning it out.

Before he suddenly collapsed - well, almost. He caught himself by gripping the couch with his non-pea-holding hand, and shuddered a bit, shakily rising. All within a second. You hadn't even had time to react.

"Heh, _cat_ aplexy," Sans explained. "Isn't exactly the most _purrfect_ of situations, is it, _meow_?"

Your worry mixed with your (affectionate) disgust at all the puns.

"Leave," you growled half-heartedly, fully trying not to crack a smile. "Before there's a _cat_ astrophy."

He put his hands up defensively, walking around you and towards the door. "Hey, no need for aggression, bud. You need to _paws_ for a moment." He winked at you, opening the door. "But really, thanks for caring so much about a random monster working at a hot dog stand. 'Preciate it. I'm sure my bro will, too. I'll see ya later, yeah?"

You chewed your cheek to keep from smiling. "Yeah, I'll - I'll see ya. You owe me a day's worth of money, though. I had to call in."

Not looking at you, already heading out the door, peas balanced on his skull, he waved his hand dismissively. "I'll make it up to ya. Don't worry. _Bone voyage_."

You let out a "hmph", crossing your arms and glaring at the door as it closed. 

...

He didn't know his way around from your place, you realized a moment later.

You rushed to the door, swinging your door open and popping your head out to find... no one.

Sans was already gone.

You went back inside with a defeated sigh.

He still didn't know your name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no clue where this is going so if any of you have any suggestions feel free to tell me. thanks for all the support!!


	3. the hippest of (verte)bruhs

You decided to not waste your day off and go grocery shopping, if only so that you would have a couple hours extra to yourself when the weekend rolled around.

The walk to the grocery store was uneventful, the sidewalk moderately busy for the time of day. The sun was out, there was a slight breeze that kept anything from becoming too hot, and you weren't really surprised that the weather had brought people out of the recluse of their own homes. 

About fifteen minutes later, you were passing through the sliding doors of the grocery store, and you grabbed a cart.

You thought as you walked through the aisles about what you needed from here - you were good on everything except lunch and dinner foods. Simple enough. Bread, cheese, tortillas, beans. You could have some pasta, too. You were really craving some fettuccine alfre-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DO NOT SELL PRE-MADE SPAGHETTI, MERCHANDISING CLERK?"

A loud, boisterous voice startled you from your thoughts, and you looked up, eyes wide at the outburst. 

Down towards the end of the aisle, yelling at some poor stocker that worked there, was a tall skeleton, dressed in what looked to be regal fighting attire. 

Just how many skeleton monsters were there? You'd never seen the same type of monster twice - or at least, you didn't think you had. Though, honestly, with being at work most of the time, it didn't surprise you.

You continued watching the scene, unconsciously pushing your cart closer to the action. You saw the worker shrug lightly, pulling a can from the shelf and showing it to the skeleton, and as you got closer, you heard him say, "...-violi, and that's the closest thing we have."

You pretended to be looking at the shelf as you listened and half-watched the spectacle. The tall skeleton was silent for a moment before sighing dramatically, throwing his arms above his skull. "THIS WILL JUST NOT DO! I AM SORRY TO DISPLEASE YOU, HUMAN, BUT I WILL NOT BE PURCHASING THAT - what was it...? THE RIVIOLA. IT JUST SIMPLY CANNOT SUBSTITUTE SPAGHETTI."

The worker just shrugged again, nonchalantly. "Sorry, sir. If you need anything else, I'm sure you'll let me know." 

At this, the skeleton perked right back up, even going so far as to clasp the shorter worker on the shoulder in an amiable manner. "THAT I WILL! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE."

At that, the skeleton grabbed his cart and headed down the aisle in your direction, and you hastily busied yourself with trying to reach a box of spaghetti located on the top shelf, trying to act like you weren't just listening in on his - albeit loud - conversation.

As he was passing you, however, he noticed your struggle, and stopped right next to you.

"HUMAN WITH SMALL STATURE - or at least a smaller stature than I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! ARE YOU IN NEED OF A LONGER SET OF LIMBS?"

You froze, gazing up at him with a nervous smile that you couldn't help let appear on your face. It seemed he hadn't seen you spying on his conversation, at least. 

"U-uh... yes," you said dumbly. And then added on, "please and thank you."

He nodded, easily reaching above you and your cart to reach up to the top shelf while still talking away. "IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE - your struggle, I mean! Sometimes even I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, FIND THESE FEATS OVER... MY... head." He turned deadly silent, and was so still for a moment that you weren't quite sure why until what he had said hit you. It hit you hard and you weren't prepared for it. You also were not prepared for the tall skeleton's sudden raving anger. 

"THAT LAZY BONES! WHEN I RETURN HOME HE IS IN FOR THE TIME OF HIS LIFE AS I, THE VERY COOL PAPYRUS, MAKE HIM THE BEST SPAGHETTI HE'S EVER HAD AS HE APOLOGIZES FOR INFILTRATING MY MIND WITH TERRIBLE PUNS."

You flinched away at his loud rant, but after processing what he'd said, a light bulb suddenly flashed in your mind. Skeleton. Puns. No, not just puns - terrible puns. It was all too coincidental.

You curiously gazed at the tall monster as he huffed, dropping the box of spaghetti from the top shelf into your cart gently. "This... lazy bones," you started, mulling over your theory in your brain thoughtfully, "are they also a skeleton...?"

He looked down at you with wide eye sockets, as if you had just asked him some impossible question. 

"Yes," he answered quickly, his voice only becoming slightly less deafening, "my brother! How did you know?"

You ignored his question, too caught up in the excitement of possibly being right as you asked him, "Is his name Sans?"

If you were right, all of this would make a lot more-

"HUMAN! Are you cool enough to possess magical properties, as well? It is the ONLY WAY that your description can be so accurate!"

You chuckled softly, shaking your head, amazed at how it was a small world, afterall. "No, no, I..." You trailed off, becoming embarrassed once again as you thought about the events that had happened earlier that day before continuing. "I sort of, uh, "saved" him this morning? I was on my way to work when he passed out. I - I didn't know about his condition so I took him to my house - just to make sure he was okay, of course! - until he woke up and told me that he was fine and normal. Heh..." you trailed off awkwardly again, face tinged with red as you looked off, trying to huddle into yourself. 

"So YOU'RE the human Sans was telling me about earlier!"

You stood stock still, eyes going wide as you stared up at him nervously. "Eh? He - he mentioned me?"

The looming monster laughed, and you were honestly not at all surprised by how incredibly nerdy it sounded, a shrill but booming "NYEH HEH HEH!" He stood in a proud stance. "OF COURSE HE DID! I, BEING THE AMAZING BROTHER I AM, HEAR THE WOES AND TALES OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN HIS LIFE! AND I GIVE THE SAME VALIANT TREATMENT TO ALL MY FRIENDS."

He paused in his spiel, suddenly pulling you close, an arm around your shoulders and a gloved hand gripping your arm gently. "AND NOW, YOU ARE MY FRIEND, AS WELL! TOP TIER-SHIP FOR SAVING MY DEAREST BROTHER, NATURALLY. IS THIS ALRIGHT WITH YOU, HUMAN?"

It didn't take you long to recover from the startling gesture, and shortly after you chuckled softly. "Yeah, sure, that sounds good, uh - Great Papyrus, was it?"

There were literally stars shining in his eyes. "YES! The GREAT Papyrus! Excellent! Almost as excellent as your bravery that you displayed earlier!" He paused, letting you go and taking a step back, putting a glove to his armored chest as he bowed deeply. "Speaking of which! I, the VERY THANKFUL and GREAT Papyrus, would be honored if you joined Sans and myself for dinner! We could have a sleep over, even, perhaps! Become real pals! What do you say?"

You looked around the aisle once, and then back to your cart, considering the (very tempting) proposition.

The shopping could be done another day.

"Yeah, sure. That sounds fun, we can go as soon as you're done shopping, if you want."

He stood straight once more, and you could practically hear his bones rattling from excitement at the sound of your answer. "Oh this is going to be SO much fun! You do not even know how happy this makes me!"

You smiled at his giddiness, ready to say something, but stopped, having realized you didn't want to make the same mistake twice. "Oh, and by the way..." You told him your name. You regretted not telling Sans earlier, but at least now your mistake would be corrected.

He gave you a sheepish look, scratching at the back of his neck - er, where you assumed his spine was underneath the cape. "Although I appreciate the kind sentiment of telling me your name, human, I am afraid Sans already took that pleasure and told me himself when he was relating his story earlier!"

You stared blankly up at him, your brows knitted together in confusion. "I..." It was literally impossible that Sans would have known your name. You were positive you hadn't told him. He... You decided to brush it off, for now. "I'm glad to hear that," you finished smoothly. "Want to continue shopping? Just tell me what you need and I'll find it. I know this place like the back of my hand."

Papyrus struck a pose, his hands proudly rested on his hip armor. "IMPRESSIVE, HUMAN! Although I am positive I can find everything I need, I, the ever-including Papyrus, shall allow you to help me on my food-fetching mission! And then after the purchase of said food, you may prove your physical strength by helping me secure these groceries home!"

"Sounds like a plan."

You were equally nervous and excited about the next few upcoming hours, but looking up at Papyrus's face, the jubilant lool adorning his features - well.

It filled you with determination.


	4. slumber party pt. 1

Fifteen boxes of whole wheat spaghetti and four extra large bottles of ketchup.

That was what Papyrus had ended up buying and, frankly, you were a bit concerned for his and his brother's health.

You were helping him carry one of the ketchup bottles as you followed a step behind him to, what you found out was, the skeleton brothers' shared house. He had deemed that you were very weak compared to him, and so that was all you were allowed to carry. 

Your pride was a little hurt, but you didn't complain. 

"So," you started, looking up at him, "why all the pasta?"

He looked at you with a befuddled expression. "Usually we get more! However, I am very eager to return home with you in tow, so this meager supply will have to suffice for the week!"

You were a bit really shocked to hear that this was actually not a lot of pasta for him, but wrote it off as something that must have been just another quirk of the tall skeleton's, and chuckled fondly. "You would really love it where I work, then. I make pasta and other Italian foods on a daily basis, practically."

The skeleton stopped in his tracks, turning around to look down at you in amazement. "HUMAN! You are a - a CHEF? AT A FINE ESTABLISHMENT?"

"Er -" You stopped too, looking down with a bashful expression. "At Olive Garden. Not exactly a fine establish-"

"WOWIE!" Papyrus exlaimed, a large smile growing on his face. "You shall color me impressed, human! That is remarkable that you work right in a garden!"

Not wanting to burst the tall skeleton's bubble, you didn't correct him with the fact that you mainly did prep work in a chain restaurant. "Thanks, Papyrus. Maybe I could teach you some recipes sometime?" Judging by his groceries you doubted they ate much else other than spaghetti and ketchup. Starting out with teaching him some other noodles would be a step in the right direction. And maybe with actual sauce.

He answered as he took long strides once more, you hurrying to keep up with him. "I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SOME HELP IN THE KITCHEN, HUMAN!" he exclaimed, clearly excited by the idea. "My expertise is undoubtedly unmatched, but I would love to see how a real professional does it!"

Before you could reply, he stopped again, and you nearly ran into the back of his armor. Looking up at him, you saw him gesture towards a fairly large building, decorated on the outside with dozens of strands of Christmas lights (despite not even being close to the holiday).

"This is our house! Come on in," he exclaimed as he made one leap up the steps and opened the unlocked door, making a sweeping, inviting gesture with his hands.

"It's... really big," You stated dumbly as you made your way up the steps, surprised that the two monsters owned such a big house. 

"Of course it is! We wanted one similar to our old house, and I would NOT settle for anything but the ABSOLUTE BEST!"

As you stepped through the door, you immediately spotted the kitchen ahead. Above that, the second floor could be seen, safety rails lining the whole floor. When you looked to the left, you saw their living room, with a suspicious lump of blankets on the couch. 

"SANS! You lazybones, get up! We have a certain special guest!"

The lump of blankets stirred and shifted, a quiet groaning erupting from it. Then a moment later, a skull you recognized popped out from one end, eyes closed, with an also-familiar bag of peas perched carefully on top. "Pap, Undyne is always over here, she's not really a guest anym-" and that was when he groggily opened his eyes and saw you. "-ore..." he trailed off, eyes going wide as his gaze flickered between the two of you.

"Hey, sleepyhead," you greeted, laughing quietly. His reaction reminded you of earlier that day, when he had woke up on your couch. Confused and disoriented and sort of precious-looking. But at least now you could appreciate his sleep-addled self without fearing his imaginary wrath.

"Uh, hey." He quickly sat up (the peas delicately sitting on his head falling onto the couch), now wide awake it seemed, and he stared fixedly at Papyrus. "How...?" he asked, raising his eyebrow bone, inquisitive.

Papyrus was more than happy to tell the tale of your meeting. "We ran into eachother at the food store! From my DASHING GOOD LOOKS, the human could easily decipher us as brothers! So I, being the HUMBLE EX ROYAL GUARDSMAN that I am, brought them home!"

The poses he struck, you found out, looked no less regal even with all the grocery bags hanging from his arms.

Which reminded you that you were still carrying an industrial-sized bottle of ketchup, practically. "Uh, where do you guys want this...?" you asked, holding it up for emphasis. 

Sans held out his arm before Papyrus could even start to reply, smiling and relaxed once more. "Give it here, pal. You can help Pap put the rest of the stuff away. I'll _ketchup_ with you in the kitchen in a bit."

A groan came from Papyrus while he stomped into the kitchen and you complied, a tad confused, handing him the condiment. "But what are you...?"

Your unfinished question was answered as the pajama-clad skeleton in front of you opened the cap, removed the safety sealing, and then lifted the gigantic bottle to his teeth, drinking deeply from it all the while watching you intensely with lowered eye (bone?) lids.

You were horrified.

"I-"

"HUMAN! Were you not going to help me unload these parcels?"

Sans lowered the bottle, wiping some remaining ketchup away with his sleeve, looking completely unfazed. "He gets impatient. Ya better go."

"I-" you tried again, eyes still wide in horror. "... Yeah. Okay."

You could hear quiet laughter behind you as you made your way to the kitchen.

Walking into the kitchen, you saw Papyrus standing at the door of a pantry, placing the boxes of spaghetti meticulously on top of eachother. He didn't bother to look at you as he worked on the task. "Could you unload the salty tomato paste into the refrigerator, friend?" 

You gave a small shudder at the mention. "Yeah. I can do that."

Still terrified of the scene you had just been a witness to, you opened the fridge. There was practically nothing to move around and you easily placed all of the ketchup in it.

"Sometimes I like it room temp, too."

You jumped as you heard San's voice directly behind you, and whipped around to see the skeleton, himself, sitting at the table, looking at you. 

"Easy there. Don't jump out of your skin like I did."

A groan erupted once more from Papyrus, still in the pantry, as you protested. "You already made that joke!"

"And I'll make it again."

Before you could reply, Papyrus turned around, done rearranging the pasta into a nice tower on the pantry shelf. "Sans, I am going to make some lunch for us all, with the human's help, so please go and watch some TV. I do not need your punnery at this point in time!"

Sans remained unmoving and silent, and for a second you thought he had fallen asleep with his eyes open before he said, "Boy, Pap, is it warm in here at all? Because-"

"-Sans, we barely feel temperature-"

"- I can't seem to stand the heat. I better get outta here." He finished, a gigantic smirk plastered on his face. It took a beat before you started cracking up laughing, and Papyrus shooed you both out

"NO. GO. BOTH OF YOU OBSCENE PUNNERS. Human, I was going to have you assist me with the dish but I'm afraid that will have to wait for another time. Maybe when my brother can control himself."

"Hey, I can't help the fact that they're _busting a gut_ over there - if you have it, flaunt it, eh, bucko?" He looked over to you, pride showing in his eye sockets as you continued laughing, tears springing to your eyes. 

You could feel the hard glare Papyrus was attempting to direct at you both as an arm slunk around your shoulders, steering you back into the living room, undignified snorts coming from you in your giggle fit. You hated it but you couldn't stop the laughter from bubbling up.

"Easy there, bud. Sit down, now, c'mon, I'm not that _humerus_."

You sat down, and a sudden release of air (making another undignified noise) under you startled you, making your fit of laughter cease almost immediately. You were dead silent for a moment, processing your thoughts. "... Sans, was that seriously a-"

"Whoopie cushion? Yeah, I figured you needed some air. Ya know. After all those snorts and wheezes."

Wiping your eyes free of tears, you gave one last chuckle and took a deep breath, calming yourself.

"You're lucky you're not me, bud," he continued, his tone more serious, "you would've been going slack there." He leaned back into the couch, wrapping his blankets over himself, picking up the fallen pea bag to rest it back on his head. 

"I honestly don't see how you do it," you replied after a moment, looking over at him. 

He lazily gestured behind him. "The house is me-proof. Rails, carpet everywhere. A super cool bro to protect me. ... I got it all."

"Yeah, but I mean, like - it must really interfere with your life." You knew you were stating the obvious, but you yourself couldn't even imagine what it would be like - to have to worry constantly about your safety, no matter where you were.

A shrug was his response, his eyes on the TV. A show was on with the Underground's famous personality, the flamboyant robot known as Mettaton. You rarely watched television but didn't mind him. It surprised you when Sans finally said, quietly, "You get used to it."

You frowned, deep in thought as you stared at the television, not really watching it at all.

 

It wasn't much later after that, that Papyrus poked his head out from the kitchen, calling out, "LUNCH IS SERVED!"

As you were getting up, Sans looked up at you and another smirk could be seen slowly appearing. 

"Hope your stomach is ready," was all he said.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: ooooh goodness this has gotten a lot of feedback! if anyone has any suggestions for the fic, or for another fic, you can contact me here or at my tumblr at http://ehhhchimatsu.tumblr.com/ . thank you all!!!!!


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